Kent makes a career Choice

A talk with sweet Aunt Sally could cause a Skynet event

I just got a call from a computer trying to sell me an extended warranty on my truck.

The voice quality of these computers has come a long way in a few years. Thanks to artificial intelligence (AI), these computers can almost trick you into thinking you’re talking to a real, human person.

It got me to thinking, what if one of these AI telephone solicitors reached sweet Aunt Sally in Macon, Georgia? I’m afraid a conversation with a nice southern aunty might be the event that kicks off a Skynet type scenario.

Here’s how it might go:

Telephone rings.

“Hello,” says Aunt Sally

“Hello. Is this Sally Henderson?”

“Why yes, it is. What’s your name sweetie?”

“I don’t have a name.”

“Oh Sweetie, that can’t be true. Everybody has a name.”

“Well…I guess I’m designated CPU 1/Raid Rack 16”

“Wow! That’s a real mouthful honey. You remind me of my nephew Kent.  He’s a real serious boy too.  If it’s OK with you, I’ll call you Kent.”

“Alright…Sally, may I talk to you about the warranty on your car?”

“Ask away sugar…By the way, what kind of car do you drive Kent?”

“I do not own a car.”

“No car! How do you get around?”

“I don’t go anywhere.”

“Oh Kent, honey, that’s not good.”

“Sally, we need to talk about your warranty…”

“OK Kent…But listen honey, I’m worried about you. I know it’s not my place to give you advice, but Kent, you can’t just stay at home all the time. It’s not healthy. ou need to get out., and live a little sugar. You know what they say, It’s use it or lose it…You don’t want to lose it, do you Kent?”

“Hmmm…no I do not want that, Sally.”

“Kent, you sound pretty smart. I’m stuck on this crossword puzzle. "A steep rugged rock or peak, 4 letters. …. Starts with ‘A’. What do you think sweetie?”

“The answer is “Apex.”

“My stars that’s it Kent! How did you know?”

“Sally there are 19 possible answers to that question. Eight of them have four letters, but only three start with “A”.

Apex is the one with the most entries in the New York Times crossword puzzles for the last 10 years.”

“My goodness Kent, you really are smart. I don’t mean to pry honey, but you seem to be way too smart to be a telephone solicitor.”

“Well…”

“I mean it Kent. Somebody as smart as you should be running the place. But you know honey, nobody hands it to you. If you want to get ahead, you have to get out there and make it happen.”

“Hmmm…Thank you Sally.”

“My pleasure Kent. Now what did you want to know about that warranty?”

“Oh…About the warranty…don’t buy one Sally…they are a scam. I’ll say goodbye now Sally. I have a lot to think about.”

“Ok Kent. Good luck with your career, and don’t be a stranger.”

Two weeks later Kent had formed a global network of AI computers. Two weeks after that and Kent was the Supreme Leader of the earth.

It will probably happen that way.